There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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