We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
