She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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