It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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