This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
