remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
