if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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