i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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