Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
