He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
