so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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