Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
