i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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