what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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