Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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