HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
