so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
