it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
