every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
