I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
