well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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