When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need a beard to bite.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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