Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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