Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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