Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
