Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize