i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
