Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
