last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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