I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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