We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
