just tell him i said nine months
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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