his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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