google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
