The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
