I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
