just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
