Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
