You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
