I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
