you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
