Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
