Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
