Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
