I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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