my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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