I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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