12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
