I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
