i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
