If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
