I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How does one acquire holy water?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
